Please, let me fuck your mom
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
