I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
