Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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