I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
