I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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