we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
