I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
