Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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