Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
