I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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