i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize