She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Less talking, more tequila
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
