I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
