can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
