so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
