I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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