Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
honey bunches of taint.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize