Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
