NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
