I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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