if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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