you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
