He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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