butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
