I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
