Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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