ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
