Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
