Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
