It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
