this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
