this beer tastes like vomit already
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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