btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
