haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
