The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
