he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
