yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
