Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
