Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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