There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
