Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
