sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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