Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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