I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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