Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
