doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
