The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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