Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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