You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
