Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
