I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
