Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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