We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
they need to just BURY HIM!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
