CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
