She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
