I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
