Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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